7 Albums That Would’ve Been Better If Danny DeVito Modelled For Them

28th November 201923rd January 2020

Danny DeVito, the famous actor and demigod, is well known for being the star in Twins and the second worst Batman film; thanks Tim Burton. But, what you didn’t know is that he would have been the best person to model for these albums; likely even more. here is our list of album covers that just weren’t complete without this 4.10ft beauty. The forceful nature of album covers being “beautiful” by the media has been going on ever since music became the big boy business for money makers everywhere. having aesthetically pleasing people and images to help sell your album has been taking its toll on quality over the years and making it so albums are only ever listened to if the cover art is perfect. so why can’t we have Danny deVito as the face of some of the most popular albums of all time? He is The statement of change we have been looking for since Bowie got criticised for wearing a dress on The Man Who Sold The World. We need to stop album covers having power over the perceived quality of an album. moreover, we need to create a change in the standards of models that bands use for their album covers, we need more diversity in the people we see in these art works.

Just to add before we go on. We don’t own any of the pictures of Danny or the origin album artwork. Let’s just make it clear, we only edited these pictures, we did not taken them. you got that?

Tyler, The Creator- IGOR

Some people are saying that the latest Tyler album is the album of the year, and we can’t blame them. But, without Danny this album feels incomplete. An album about loss put to stylistic beats and a blast of Tyler’s voice that will turn you into bread crumbs put to a similar pink to our blogs theme; thanks for stealing it Tyler! Songs like I don’t love you anymore and new magic wand take on new meanings, new meanings I think I prefer. But why? After giving the album a listen while staring deep into the eyes of this image I feel new, more powerful, better to eat a cucumber sandwich with. An album cover directly effects the enjoyment of an album and thats the agenda of the big money makers upstairs who want to sell big.

David Bowie- Diamond Dogs

Perhaps already one of Bowie’s strangest album covers, made perfect by the dog/man DeVito waiting for to pour him a glass of orange Lucozade in a puppy bowl. This is truly a work of art and so are my photoshop skills. a testament to two years of photography a level paid off… clearly. This album was and is a statement to why an album cover doesn’t need to be perfect, you don’t have to be a glamour model to be a musician. ironically, Bowie was a bit of a model. But, he was also willing to be drawn as a dog-man, which isn’t the standard beauty image i feel people wanted from him. so why can’t he be DeVito too?

Beartooth- Disease

What kind of disease makes you more good looking? One that makes you look like this. Now, I’m not saying listening to this album will blow your face up and rebuild itself to be, perhaps, more bald? The harsh rock album carries the flag that bands like MotorHead have passed down and it carries it with pride. A flag embroiled with the beautiful beard of Danny DeVito and the tune down guitars of one of rocks most energetic bands. Sadly, even in the metal world, where boundaries are pushed out and rebuilt, album covers are forced to be good looking. The force of labels to have bands sell albums than just write good music carries more weight than ever today. ever musician is under the same pressure to be ‘hot’ as well as being talented; even in the spiked jacket side of the world.

Brockhampton- Saturation 3

The third in the strong wave of Brockhamptons Saturation series comes with its best cover already. Now hear me out: What if it was Danny DeVito sipping milk. You in? The third album to realise by the band over the course of 2017 and my personal favourite, is a much different experience with this cover and it bleeds it’s milk into every track. Songs like ‘JOHNNY’, which has the lyric ‘I love when the people go wild for me’, Rings even truer after this work of art and if I haven’t said it before… YOU”RE WELCOME. After this I should probably hide my face and be like the tunnel man himself- the Fifth Duke of Portland. However, it’s only when re-listening to an album under a new cover that you realise the talent and hard work that went into the album series. Why does a boy-band, like Brockhampton, who strive on being out of the box, need to focus on the artwork of an album cover? Why can’t they have Danny spitting milk? Is this where the music world is heading? Away from talented musicians and into a place where beauty is the seller. which i suppose we are already seeing in the east, where k-pop bands are physically altered to appear better looking to sell their music. As their music is becoming bigger and bigger in the west, we may see changes towards these systems in our sales techniques and control over bands.

Polar- No Cure No Saviour

Imagine throwing punches while Polar crush it live and see the guy who you just slapped butts with has this beauty on his fist. it’s really gonna get you vibe going. In all fairness, This album slaps cheeks harder than M18 Hellcat driven by Ellen DeGeneres. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. and yet, im still focusing on the art of the album. Even smaller bands have to fit the bill for ‘good- looking’ album covers in order to sell sell sell (your souls to the big man who will give you a record deal and then wear your face like a dollar bill). With the Exception of Dads‘ album cover for American Radass (this is important) because that cover is an anomaly.

Enter Shikari- Take To The Skies

Back in 2007 this beast hit our hears and it hit them like a muffin being thrown by The Great Khali. With it’s revolutionary use of rock and what is almost dubstep. (Anyone remember dubstep? What a throw back.) If I could do another edit i’d have to change ‘Sorry you’re not a winner‘ to ‘yes, you are a winner. Danny DeVito exists‘. Too on the nose? Perhaps. This album is gonna blow your pants off and replace them with sticks of butter because this is gonna melt you. Even with its revolution in music, why do they feel the need to make a nice album cover? The UK’s rock scene has always been so outstanding for changing the way we see music, but, they always tie themselves down by the rituals of selling an album. beauty, and it’s ideals, hold albums back from blossoming. or perhaps, its rather the way in which we sell music that is ruining the way we digest music.

Kanye West- Yeezus

I know what you are thinking, maybe I know you too well, Young Shrimp Wrap. The revolution which is Yeezus is already perfect. Also, it doesn’t have any people on it for me to edit over. Let’s just imagine that a very naked Danny DeVito was climbing out of the red sticker and into the centre of this perfect album? Well, thankful we made it. Yep that’s right now you can listen to black skinhead and be reminded of this image that has burned its way into your mind. You’re welcome? What’s wrong with this body image? Too often we hear stories of musicians getting addicted to drugs to stay thin because of pressures from their label to sell and tour and keep thin all at the same time. How many people have we lost to the toll of the music scene? too many.

Thats our list. what do you think? what albums do you think would look better with Danny DeVito on them? tell us on our twitter @SnapTheCd.